HOSPICE , HOME FUNERAL & PALLATIVE CARE INFORMATION

 

HOSPICE is the care of terminally ill people BEFORE DEATH in the private home , nursing home or hospital with an emphasis on relieving pain and giving comfort.There are many wonderful resources in every state for this amazing and compassionate care that is available to everyone. 

"As an only child, going through the death of my Mother  alone ( election night 2000 ) would have been very lonely & sad without the kind and loving care of the Hospice nurse who "appeared" and stayed with me throughout the night in the nursing home until my Mother died in my arms . She became a sister I never had in that moment and I am forever grateful for the Love & compassionate service of this kind woman."

HARPS in Pallative care  :http://www.cemproductions.org/globalspirit/the-art-of-living-dying/

http://chaliceofrepose.org/

HOSPICE RESOURCES :

https://www.hospicenet.org/index.html

https://www.compassionandchoices.org/

http://hospicefoundation.org/

In the San Francisco Bay Area, CA.:

http://www.zenhospice.org/

http://www.hospicebythebay.org

http://www.maitrisf.org/care/  (AIDS Hospice)

HOME FUNERAL and  HOME VIGILS resources-

http://homefuneralalliance.org/

( "Instinctively I washed and shrouded my Mothers body after her death (below) as if i had  done this  thousands of times before , many years before knowing anything about "home funerals" or becoming a shroud maker...") Esmerelda Kent, founder KINKARACO ®  

                                                   Photo of home funeral courtesy  http://sacredcrossings.com/

DISCLAIMER: {The information  shared here is for the benefit of the public seeking information about  alternative funeral choices and is for the purpose of education . Kinkaraco ® does not suggest families not seek qualified professional help when a death occurs .We share only our recommendations of home funeral resources ,funeral directors, green cemeteries and home funeral guides, etc. whom we have personally worked with over the years and have found in our experience to be highly professional ,fully qualified and ethical to work with for the benefit of families seeking these alternatives . }

In the United States before the Civil War, ALL funerals took place in the Parlor. This parlor became the "funeral parlor" out of the home after the war was over . HOME FUNERALS or VIGILS  are a return to caring for  the body of the deceased family member or friend in the home. This takes place AFTER DEATH when a person has died at home. (ALL KINKARACO ® resellers sign an agreement to help families with home funerals in any capacity the family requests.)

THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW- 

Home wakes/vigils are legal in every state.

In 41 states family members can process the paperwork (death certificate and transport permit) and take their deceased to the crematory or cemetery.

NOTE: These are the ONLY states who legally require a funeral director  be present during the funeral process:

Connecticutt, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, Michigan, Nebraska, New Jersey and New York State

HOWEVER-
In 9 states (CT, IL, IO, IN, LA, NY, MI, NE, NJ ) there are specific laws that require families to pay a funeral director to do the paperwork and/or transport the body.

"In the 19th Century before the Industrial Revolution and the Civil War ,the body of the deceased was laid out in the parlor and the friends and relatives paid their respects to the person and brought food and comfort to the family for a 2-3 day period after which time the body was carried out in a shroud in a hand madecasket and buried in the "back 40" on the family property. This was before the home "parlor" became the Funeral Parlor  and the ceremony of caring for one's own dead went to the outside business of the "Funeral Home" and babies were no longer delivered in the home but in a Hospital."

 Jimmy Carter ( Born 1924 ) was the very first US President to ever be born in a Hospital!    

This choice is becoming popular again with the DIY (do it yourself) baby boomer generation.The trained home funeral guides help the family to prepare the body for  a home vigil in which the body remains in thehome for 2-3 days on with covered dry under the internal organs , the home funeral guides do the necessary paperworkike getting the Death certificate and often help with the transportation to the crematory or cemetery.

(For more information about preparing a body see PREPARATION  page

 LIFE & DEATH -

Photo courtesy of Olivia Bareham  sacredcrossings.com

Photo courtesy of Mrs. Judith Adams 

Home funerals and home childbirth are profound experiences with great meaning . It requires a mature reality based concious awareness of the process of life and death. This is  often a MESSY experience that many people choose to leave in the hands of Hospitals (in the case of Birth) and funeral professionals in the case of a Death. It is not for everyone and that's OKAY! Find our qualified ethical helpers here: FUNERAL HOME RESELLERS

It takes extremely responsible, disciplined, prepared adults who can remain compassionate yet unemotional and detached  to stay on top of what needs to be done no matter what happens. If you are that kind of person then HOME FUNERAL is an amazing experience for you and your friends and family. 

This is not an undertaking for the ungrounded, emotionally fragile, squimish  or disorganized among us - but for those who can handle whatever may come  in this  process with a clear detached mind taking care of the business at hand for the benefit of everyone else involved.  

 If you want to have a home funeral  for yourself , a spouse or a family member consider these points FIRST:

1 . Make sure the entire family is on board. You don't want someone freaking out at the last minute. In the case of a long term illness if you want a home funeral for yourself WRITE  IT DOWN : FINAL WISHES  . Make sure everyone knows what you want and only those who understand the process and are okay with it attend.

 2. If you are an older adult with grown children and your child dies and you want a home funeral for this adult child remember that if they are married all rights go to  the spouse. 

 3. If you are a gay person with a partner and you are not legally married in a state that allows gay marraige, get all your paperwork done for domestic partnership  in your state beforehand .Otherwise you are in danger of losing any shared assets, property, etc.  Write down what you both want , include your families if possible. If not make sure your friends know what you are doing and only have supportive people there during the home vigil. Without having everything in writing family members have control over your death often leaving your partner out of the picture.

 PLAN AHEAD - GOOD PREPARATION MAKES FOR GOOD RESULTS.

 ASSIGN TASKS to those who wish to be involved. 

 FOR EXAMPLE:

"Alex "is doing the paperwork and getting the doctors signature and the death certificate.

"Pat" is driving the body to the crematory or cemetery .

"Aunt Mary" is cooking and bringing food 

"Lee "is preparing the room and getting the dry ice.

 Susan and _____ are preparing the body (with the home funeral guide. ) 

 The kids are painting the cremation container in the backyard at ______house. 

 

Helpful Resources :

KINKARACO ® RESELLERS  have signed a statement and are happy to ala carte services, assist in home funerals  in many states with paperwork and transportation where needed as well as to work hand in hand with the home funeral guides when requested. 

 We believe every family should be able to choose what is the best for them and have those options available .